who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
