I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
