The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
