Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This baby is an asshole
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
