I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
