at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
