he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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