I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
