You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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