he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
