At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
