I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
