Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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