I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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