Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
