Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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