i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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