They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
