yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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