The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
