I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
