Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
