My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
