cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
