thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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