Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
