Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
