I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
