I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
