Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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