About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
