Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
