I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
