is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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