went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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