I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
