I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize