U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
