he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
