do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my shit smells like andre
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
