Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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