sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
