So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
