carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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