as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
