Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
