am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
