I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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