I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
