Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
